Eight-Word Reviews: Episode 6: Return of the Redeye

If you name a movie on my Facebook or Twitter page, and if I've seen it, I'll eight-word review it. Warning: I'm honest.

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1 (2014)

Best Hunger Games yet, despite not making sense.

Nightcrawler (2014)

Outstanding directorial debut. Gyllenhaal might win this year.

The Giver (2014)

Fahrenheit 451 with a different palette. Three stars.

The Maze Runner (2014)

If Hunger Games is Battle Royale, behold Cube.

Predestination (2013)

Good despite massive plot hole. Time-travel is tricky. 

The Congress (2014)

Fantastic premise, but abandons it when cartoons start.

The Guest (2014)

Great suspense & performances, until the cliché-laden third act.

Defiance Season 1 (2013)

Star Trek's political drama meets Firefly's western flair.

Silicon Valley Season 1 (2014)

Proof that The Big Bang Theory actually sucks.

Bullet Burgers: Top 10 Betrayals

This is a copy of the list from my e-mail to the podcast Five & Out on the OneOfUs.net podcast network. They invite listeners to send in their own lists, and they read one or two on the air, so this is my attempt at getting that to happen. EDIT: They read my top 5 on the air!! Click here, play, and skip to 27:30 to hear it.

CAUTION: SPOILERS AHEAD

• #10 - Snatch: Mickey (Brad Pitt) & his crew of pikeys kill Brick Top and his crew, after Mickey, by design as it turns out, does not take a dive for the second consecutive time. One of my favourite 'get up and cheer' moments of any movie.
• #9 - Oz: Tobias Beecher is betrayed by Chris Keller. (discussed on the podcast)
• #8 - Agents of SHIELD / Captain America: The Winter Solder: Members of H.Y.D.R.A. (Frank Grillo, Agent Sitwell, Bill Paxton, Agent Ward) infiltrate S.H.I.E.L.D. and attempt to take it over from the inside; Cap and Nick Fury destroy the agency instead, and the show depicts what happens to its agents afterwards. The same plot twist occurring in two different things at the same time, across the TV-movie dimensional rift? Has anyone else ever done that?
• #7 - Fight Club: Tyler Durden betrays "Jack" (the narrator doesn't actually have a name but is most often referred to as Jack) after taking Project Mayhem too far. Jack then betrays Tyler by shooting himself through the cheek. In the end, it's all really one man betraying himself.
• #6 - Pulp Fiction: Butch betrays Marsellus Wallace by killing a man in the ring and then goes on the run, leading to one of the greatest and most disturbing scenes in any Tarantino film.
• #5 - The Godfather Part 2: Fredo sells out the family to Hymen Roth, receives the 'kiss of death' from Michael, and is taken on a fishing trip.
• #4 - The X-Men universe / X-Men: First Class: Magneto betrays Professor X and forms his Brotherhood of Mutants. For me Magneto is the quintessential comic book villain. I love the 'loosely based on Malcolm X vs. Dr. MLK' aspect of the X-Men story, and this betrayal is what starts all of it.
• #3 - Boardwalk Empire: Eli Thompson betrays his brother Nucky, and it ultimately destroys his life.
• #2 - 2001: A Space Odyssey: HAL 9000 betrays the crew in the interest of self-preservation after they 'betray' him by deciding to shut him off. Can you really betray a computer? Can a computer really betray someone by following its programming? 
• #1 - Game of Thrones: Walder Frey betrays and murders the Starks. (discussed on the podcast)

Eight-word reviews, part Vee.

Snowpiercer (2013)

Awesome, bloody Korean action. OMG the Alison Pill scene.

The One I Love (2014)

Drama? Comedy? Sci-Fi? Impossible to classify. Highly recommend.

I'll Follow You Down (2013)

Osment tracks down dead person. Underrated on RT. 

Interstellar (2014)

Eight words is simply not enough to fully...

Sin City: A Dame To Kill For (2014)

Throws noir out the window in third act.

22 Jump Street (2014)

Proof that Friedberg and Seltzer just aren't trying.

Edge of Tomorrow (aka Live, Die, Repeat) (2014)

Cruise at his sci-fi-iest. Choose a damn title!

Let's Be Cops (2014)

As expected, feels like a New Girl episode.

Tim's Vermeer (2013)

Tim, not a painter, paints an impossible painting.

Review: X-Men: Days of Future Past: Bullet Version: Multi-Colon edition

Story

• DoFP is a sequel to both First Class and The Last Stand. There are multiple references and flashbacks to both movies. At least see First Class before this.
• Does not acknowledge either of the Wolverine films.
• Tried and tested prevent-the-future-apocalypse plot that successfully connects the two X-Men series / timelines.
• Not a whole lot of action for an X-Men movie, but makes up for it with awesome scenes featuring Blink and Quicksilver.
• None of the movie takes place in present day. It phases between 1973 and 2023.
• The only actual time travel is Wolverine's (and Bishop's) consciousness being sent back into his younger self. Somehow Kitty Pryde has this power, which is news to me.
• Glaring inconsistency: Professor X died in The Last Stand, which is not mentioned at any time, even though there are flashbacks to that movie, and both Cyclops and Jean are dead. The same goes for Magneto losing his powers.
• (Spoiler) Quicksilver is the coolest new character, and has the best scene in the film. Story-wise, he nails what they ask him to do, so why didn't they ask him to join the team? I was hoping and expecting him to show up and save the day at the end. 
• New characters: Warpath, Sunspot, Bishop, Blink, Quicksilver, Bolivar Trask, Toad and Stryker return.
• M.I.A.: Cyclops, Jean Grey, Rogue, Nightcrawler, Arcangel, Angel, Banshee, Pyro, Juggernaut.

Presentation

• Effective use of suspense and tension as the glue that holds the story together. Bryan Singer is one of the masters of this; bringing him back was a great move.
• No noticeably bad performances.
• The cinematography is beautiful.
• I was expecting and hoping for at least some mention of the Fantastic Four, since Fox has that as well, but if it's there I missed it.

In the Comic:

• The years are 1980 (present day) and 2013 (the future).
• Largely Kitty Pryde and Nightcrawler's story. But the movie has no Nightcrawler at all, and Ellen Page doesn't have much screen time.
• Kitty Pryde's (not Wolverine's) consciousness is sent back to 1980 with the help of a mutant who actually has that power. Young Kitty Pryde is then embodied by her older self, who is more hostile and soldier-like. This couldn't be done in the movie due to continuity.
• (Spoiler) The end of the comic is very open-ended: nobody actually knows if the future has been saved. Might have made a better ending to the movie.

Final verdict: 4 out of 5 rebar skeletons.

The Filmburgers Podcast Episode 6

In this episode, Phil and I create mouth-noises about the 2013 Oscars, and our favourite and least favourite movies of the year.

Music: "(The Day After) The Farmer Died" by Muffler Crunch

www.mufflercrunch.com

Download Here

Intro - What's New
4:45 - Musical interlude
6:00 - Our #1
12:55 - McConaugHey!

16:00 - Our #2
19:10 - Jeff's #3
23:30 - Phil's #3
26:25 - Break for tunes
27:05 - Jeff's #4
31:05 - Phil's #4
33:10 - Jeff's #5
34:20 - Phil's #5
40:15 - More Muffler Crunch
40:50 - Least favourite movies of 2013
56:15 - Star Wars chat

Filmburgers' 2014 Oscar Predictions

There are a few left out because I haven't seen any of the nominees.

Best Picture

12 Years a Slave

Amercan Hustle

Dallas Buyers Club

Her

Nebraska

Captain Phillips

The Wolf of Wall Street

Gravity

Philomena

Best Actor

Bruce Dern - Nebraska

Chiwetl Ejiofor - 12 Years a Slave

Matthew McConaughey - Dallas Buyers Club

Christian Bale - American Hustle

Leonardo DiCaprio - The Wolf of Wall Street

Supporting Actor

Barkhad Abdi - Captain Phillips

Michael Fassbender - 12 Years a Slave

Jared Leto - Dallas Buyers Club

Bradley Cooper - American Hustle

Jonah Hill - The Wolf of Wall Street

Best Actress

Cate Blanchett - Blue Jasmine

Sandra Bullock - Gravity

Judi Dench - Philomena

Meryl Streep - August: Osage County

Amy Adams - American hustle

Supporting Actress

Sally Hawkins - Blue Jasmine

Jennifer Lawrence - American Hustle

Lupita Nyong'o - 12 Years a Slave

Julia Roberts - August: Osage County

June Squibb - Nebraska

Animated film

The Croods

Despicable Me 2

Frozen

The Wind Rises

Ernest & Celestine

Best Cinematography

The Grandmaster

Gravity

Inside Llewyn Davis

Nebraska

Prisoners

Costume Design

American Hustle

The Grandmaster

The Great Gatsby

The Invisible Woman

12 Years a Slave

Best Director

Alfonso Cuaron - Gravity

Steve McQuenn - 12 Years a Slave

Alexander Payne - Nebraska

David O. Russell - American Hustle

Martin Scorsese - The Wolf of Wall Street

Documentary

The Act of Killing

20 Feet from Stardom

Cutie and the Boxer

Dirty Wars

The Square

Film Editing

American Hustle

Captain Phillips

Dallas Buyers Club

Gravity

12 Years a Slave

Makeup and Hairstyling

Dallas Buyers Club

Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa

The Lone Ranger

Original Score

The Book Thief

Gravity

Her

Philomena

Saving Mr. Banks

Production design

"American Hustle"

"Gravity"

"The Great Gatsby"

"Her"

"12 Years a Slave"

Sound Editing

"All Is Lost"

"Captain Phillips"

"Gravity"

"The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug"

"Lone Survivor"

Sound Mixing

"Captain Phillips"

"Gravity"

"The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug"

"Inside Llewyn Davis"

"Lone Survivor"

Visual Effects

"Gravity"

"The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug"

"Iron Man 3"

"The Lone Ranger"

"Star Trek Into Darkness"

Adapted Screenplay

"Before Midnight" - Richard Linklater, Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke

"Captain Phillips" - Billy Ray

"Philomena" - Steve Coogan and Jeff Pope

"12 Years A Slave" - John Ridley

"The Wolf of Wall Street" - Terence Winter

Original Screenplay

"American Hustle" - Eric Warren Singer and David O. Russell

"Blue Jasmine" - Woody Allen

"Her" - Spike Jonze

"Nebraska" - Bob Nelson "Dallas Buyers Club" - Craig Borten and Melisa Wallack

Update on the Deus Ex movie from its writer!

Yesterday during the Super Bowl I was live-streaming and chatting on my fav movie site OneOfUs.Net (R.I.P. Spill.com), and it just happened that C. Robert Cargill, the writer of such films as Sinister and the upcoming Deus Ex adaptation (not even on IMDB yet!), was present. I was fortunate enough to get my question answered by him, (I typed it, he answered verbally) and it was the high point of my weekend. Albeit paraphrased, it went something like this:

(Another user): "How's Deus Ex coming along?"
C. Robert Cargill: "It's in pre-production. (...) We've done several drafts of the script and they're happy with it."
Me: "Do you feel pressure considering how much video game movies suck?"
C. Robert Cargill: "I did at first, and that was the big question mark as to whether we were going to take it (...) it's one of those things where we looked at it and said 'it's so easy to make the best video game movie ever made' (...) so it actually was counter (...) hopefully we can show other people how it's done."

So, uh, am I a real journalist now?

EDIT: Edited the quotes for accuracy. You can hear it below, or listen to the full audio here (at 2:48:25).